


The Advancing Flower

by Speckeh



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vikings, Art, Comedy, Cultural References, Cunnilingus, Cute Kids, Disfigurement, Druid wedding, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Face-Sitting, First Time, Genderswap, Kidnapping, Menstruation, Minor Violence, Only for Peter, Pegging, Penny Parker - Freeform, Penny is a druid, Penny is hell fire, Pet Names, Pregnancy, Pregnancy sex, Slow Burn, Strap-Ons, Vaginal Sex, Viking Wedding, Wade gets beheaded but is fine, Wade is a Good Boy, Wade is a gentle lover, Wedding Fluff, superpowers are seen as gifts from the Gods, superpowers are still active, this is an old fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 03:10:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 16,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20481872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Speckeh/pseuds/Speckeh
Summary: Penny Parker is a gifted druid warrior who suddenly finds herself in a strange land with a new home with Viking!Wade. At first, thinking she'll be some prize to be ravaged, she's surprised at the kindness that welcomes her with Wade's village. How on Earth can she start to fall for her captor?This fic was penned in 2014 for my friend Wade. It's old, but I remember being very proud of it!





	1. The Attack

The group stood in the battle ground, only a hundred or so bodies lay around their feet. A small number but not a small feat. Their message was well received. Though they took a moment, the sun beating down on their bloodied backs. They bowed their heads, swords sticking in the reddening grass and shields by their feet. A solemn song of prayer filled the air to take the victims off to their intended heaven.

They had lost a few men in the fray, it only seemed right to send their brethren off in some way if they could not do it in proper burial. They needed the ships to return home. Once the song ended, they picked up their weapons, looking to the village where some of their kin had already started to attack. Though the villagers had long since fled once they realized these men from the East were more powerful than they could take. 

A tall and muscular man painted in red and black laughed with his men, wrapping a kind arm around one of the younger boys who had reached the age to travel with them. “See here Bild, go off and find yourself a treasure to bring home to your mother.” He spoke calmly in their native tongue. “She will be happy to see you safe but will feed you a feast fit for a king if you bring her home a prize.” The boy nodded and scampered off into the slowly burning village. 

Wade ran a hand over his bald head, removing his hand and noting the blood not his own. He feels himself grow excited at the return journey home. Even if these lands were large and green, he missed his own bed and humble farm. His eyes looked across the battlefield and seeing a small group of men having difficulty with something. Suddenly one man went down, cradling his nose and shouting in pain. Wade raised his eyebrows, chuckling softly and stepping over a body to see what his men would get up to.

“Insolent cub! Strike me?” The man with the broken nose smacked the offending person backhandedly. “Hold him down, let him feel a real man.” He snarled with a smirk. The person cried out, trying to yank their arms from the men that suddenly surrounded them. Wade’s hand clasped on the man’s shoulder. “What have I told about my policies of spoils of war?” He growled threateningly. 

The man glared at his leader, “Look what he’s done to my nose. I demand payment.” Wade looked down, seeing the boy struggle against the men’s hold on his wrists. “Why is he painted blue?” Wade cocked his head, pushing the man away and leaning down to the boy’s height. “A warrior from the village. Only a few selected are painted in such a way.” An older man told the group. 

“Are you special then?” Wade asked him, looking down at the boy. “You’re far too pretty to be a warrior. Or a man.” He reached out, taking the boy’s jaw in his large hand. “I’m painted too. Do you speak my language?” He leaned in to get a better look. The boy’s lips suddenly smirked. With a sudden force he ripped his arms out of the men’s grip and unsheathed Wade’s sword from his hilt. He grabbed Wade’s shoulder with a strength much more than his arms let on and shoved Wade’s body forward and thrust the sword through his gut. “Yes I speak your tongue.”  
He twisted the blade and lept over Wade’s haunched body, grinning at the men. “And I am no boy either.” He suddenly pulled up the strange binding across his chest, flashing a pair of breasts at the men. She saluted the men with two fingers before running off towards the forest. 

“Wade, are you alright?” A man helped him up to his feet. Wade hissed, pulling the blade from his stomach and swearing underneath his breath as the wound healed on its own accord. “Feisty little thing wasn’t she?” Wade, put the blade back in it’s holder. “Should we go get her?”   
“I think I’ve found the treasure I most want to bring home.”

Penny squatted high up in the tree. There was no tribe to go back home to. Everyone had either fled to never return or had died in the battle like her whole family. Her mother had cut her hair, told her the shorter it was the less likely she would be taken advantage in battle. She had thought her mother talked about how her cousin would pull on her hair when they wrestled. She had forgotten that there was the lust of men she did not know she had to worry about. 

Her ears twitched, hearing feet enter the forest. Were they really so stupid as to enter here? Penny looked over the weapons she had, though the one she kept secret was something her father promised her to never use in front of people. She flexed her hands, looking down on them. She was covered in blue, she wouldn’t be able to hide forever in the green. But the men were advancing. It wouldn’t take long until she had the upper hand even with her disability.

She took in a breath, standing carefully on the tree branch. She heard them speak in their tongue and carefully took the bow and arrow she managed to take as she ran. She stretched the bow string, following the sight. And. Aah, hello. She let it go, the arrow sinking into the man’s, who tried to have his way with her arm. “Shit! Where did that come from?” 

Penny carefully swung to the next tree over, waiting for the next target. As he stepped into view she shot a web, landing it on his hand and managing to have it stick to his thigh. It won’t come off any time soon. “What is this? Is this witchcraft?” One shouted. Penny moved quicker, catching the lagging man before and kicking him unconscious as she made it to the next tree. Only one was left standing. Penny unsheathed her dagger, adjusting it in her hand. She had to make this one count. 

She took in a sharp breath through her nose and was about to throw it when a strange throwing knife came and nicked her arm. She dropped her daggr, holding the bleeding wound and biting back a cry. Fuck, who was that? She had looked and there hadn’t been a fifth warrior. Where did that come- A hand reached up in the tree and seized her foot, yanking her out. 

Penny shouted her alarm, tumbling out of the large tree. She managed to shoot out a web and snag her dagger. As she fell on top of the large person she went in for the kill. A large hand clasped around her wrist, seizing it in mid air. “You-?” Penny stared down at the man she had just shoved a sword in his gut. How was he still alive? 

Wade smiled warmly up at her. He tapped the side of his temple. “You have your tricks, I have mine.” Penny’s face became stern in her anger and gave a war cry and used her strength to try to shove her dagger in Wade’s throat. The painted man chuckles, until the weapon started to sink lower and lower until the blade point pricked his throat. That’s when he realized there was far more to this woman than her hunting skills and trickery. She had more strength than he and his second best fighter. Not necessarily wanting a knife through his throat, he acted.

Wade’s hand clasped onto the wound he inflicted on her arm, squeezing as hard as he could on the cut until she cried out in pain. Her hand shook but she didn’t waver. She panted and used her rage to push through. Shit, a knife through the neck was his least favorite stab besides the chest. 

A painful thud sounded and Penny slouched on top of Wade, passed out. Bild stood in front of Wade, the handle of his sword in the place where her head used to be. Wade rubbed his throat, making sure he wasn’t bleeding profusely and nodded to him. “You’re definitely eating like a king when we return home.”


	2. Trapped

She dreamt she was falling and rolling and a strange man came into her bedroom. She tried to fight him off but he was too powerful and she knew she was going to die. Something cold and wet splashed over her, making her sit up and gasp. A jar with clean water had spilled all over her. Immediately she regretted sitting up so suddenly, the back of her skull exploding it pain. 

Penny cradled her head. She was rocking… she was rocking? But she wasn’t moving herself? She slowly looked around the dark room. A.. storage of some sort? Her village’s wealth and some of the prized relics. Had she been saved? As she reached for one of her god’s symbols, her blue war paint and blood that wasn’t hers came to attention. So.. the fighting really happened. That must mean.. 

She gingerly touched her arm, finding stitches and was glad she had been asleep when that happened. Then it dawned on her. She was a spoil of war. Like these treasures, she was to never return to her homeland and become some cow to a man’s lusts. She threw the wet blanket off of her, stumbling as the boat rocked. She knew what she had to do. If she couldn’t kill their leader, there was only one option left. She was going to throw herself off the boat. 

Penny thudded against the door, and pulled on the knob. It didn’t budge. “Oh come on!” She cried out, banging on the door. Maybe if they became curious they would let her out. She could fling herself into the sea and be done with this whole mess. Join her family in the afterlife. 

For the next hour and a half she banged and begged for someone to come help her. She even screamed to make them think she was in pain. But no one came. Penny looked in the cabin she was in. With her was supplies of food just small enough for one person, and jugs of fresh water only for her. That’s when she realized, no one intended to let her out for quite some time. She slouched on the door and slid until she sat on the floor, wrapping her arms around her knees and pulling them to her chest. “My name is Penny, Daughter of Richard and Mary. I am 20 moons old.” And she repeated her mini mantra, carving these words into her head so she could never forget who she was and where she came from.

The men flinched and were panicked when Penny screamed and yelled for an hour. They all looked together. The seas were already treacherous and many men were afraid that they really did bring a witch on the boat with them. “Wade, surely Odin is punishing us. Perhaps she is the trickster Loki here to drown us all.” Fjolnir advised Wade. “Perhaps, we should throw her-”   
“No. She is no witch and she is no God either. Our gods would not paint themselves blue.” Wade tightened the cloak around him, staring at the locked door. 

“Then she is a demon.” Fjolnir sat next to him. The sail had been taken down and many of the men used it to help keep the wind and the cold off of them. “Perhaps. But you all call me a demon from time to time.” Wade reminded with a slight smile. Fjolnir flinched visibly, giving a nervous laugh. “You are my friend. But even I have to have my doubts from time to time.” The bald viking gave a slight nod to his friend. “Doubt all you want. My demands are clear. Don’t touch the girl and you all share the wealth without my interfering.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I received a comment that reminded me some readers might be concerned I'm "straightening" Peter and Wade's relationship. Rest assured, I was and would never do that. Check my previous writing, you'll see I try to stay away from "straightening" queer relationships. But also remember Wade is a canon pansexual character! So him dating a female version of Peter is very much in his characterization. 
> 
> Plus this is a 2014 old ass fic that I wrote when I was a teenager.
> 
> And I promise at the end of this story, there is something that "turns" the table.


	3. A New Life

She had lost count how many days it’s been. Or how far away she was from home by now. She was mindless and numb, barely thinking and hardly remembering to eat or drink until she feeds and drinks until she nearly throws up with how tight her stomach is. Every day for an hour she tries to get them to open the door, but they are steadfast like she is. Eventually after weeks, she gives up. And decides to starve herself to death. But she only goes for a day without eating when the door opens. 

Penny barely noticed that the boat stopped moving, for her head was thumping and swimming with being in the dark for so long and trying to kill herself the peaceful way. A hand is firm on her upper arm and helps her out of the ship. A cheer rises up and the whole village is on the bank. They are far richer and have nicer homes than Penny ever had. But it is not her home. It’s not as green or sunny or as friendly. The men are rough and the women look even tougher. All of these people are worthy to be called warriors in her homeland. Penny swallowed thickly, eyes still adjusting to the sun as she’s helped out of the boat and onto the dock. 

People are staring at her. Her blue paint is fading but it’s still prominent. The men’s war paint has all but washed off from the days of sea. Their leader’s, whose hand is guiding her rather forcefully, paint is faded, and the man scars and blemishes are more visible. Penny finds herself staring at the man’s face. What happened? 

She stumbled, not watching where she was going and her legs weak from the lack of movement. But Wade helped her up, hands gentle. “Who’s that?” She heard through the village. “Why is it blue?” “Is it a woman or a boy? I can’t tell.” “Is it a demon?” Penny’s eyes caught with a woman who called her a demon and she stopped walking for a moment and spat in the pretty woman’s face. She screeched and Penny hissed before laughing, almost like she was insane. Wade raised an eyebrow before picking up the exhausted blue woman and carrying her the rest of the way. 

“I am not a demon.” Penny spoke in her native tongue. Though no one could understand her. “I curse you all! Curse you so that your soup is forever cold and your bedsheets are always wrinkled!’ She continued in her language. It was childish curses but the way she shouted angrily at them caused the women to shrink and hide their children, murmuring to themselves at what might have been said. 

Wade covered his face, trying not to laugh. He was not born of this land. In fact, he’s not sure who is father is and he certainly doesn’t have a birth right to anywhere. Wade traveled his world and learned a few languages. And this Celtic woman’s tongue is one of them. Soup is forever cold? Wrinkled sheets? How old was she? His shoulders shook slightly and he snorted. 

Penny oofed when his shoulder jabbed into her bare stomach. She growled and smacked the middle of his back, making him stumble in surprise. “Don’t laugh at me you viking scum.” She spoke heatedly in Gaelic.  
“I am not laughing at you. Ok, maybe a bit. But was that the best curses you could come up with? Cold soup and messed up pelts?” Wade spoke back in Gaelic. Penny froze, staring at the man’s muscular back.  
“You speak my language?” She asked bewildered.  
“Yes, I speak your tongue.” He mused. 

Wade walked up a hill, away from the center of the town. Penny looked even more confused. If he was their leader, how come he wasn’t in the middle of the town? And why hadn’t he grabbed a sack of her family treasures? As they made their way, she turned her head. Was this his home? This little house that was nowhere fit for a leader? And crops? Wait. Wade opened up the gate. No no, she was no one’s prize or spoils of war. She began to struggle on Wade’s shoulder, smacking his back in the middle to force the wind out of him and kick as much as she could. “Hey.. heyheyhey HEY!” Wade groaned, before finally doing something he wished he didn’t have to do. He smacked her rump as hard as he could, causing the wind to rush out of her and grow still. 

Wade grumbled in annoyance, pushing open the door and putting Penny down on her feet on the floor. He closed the door only to find himself shoved up against it. He gave a sigh as she had another knife against his throat. He raised his hands up in surrender. “You will not touch me.” She hissed at him. “I will not have some viking take any more honor from me! You brought me here against my will and I will certainly not share your bed!”  
“Woah.. woah. Ok, little princess. One, I’m not raping you. Two, I’m not raping you. And three, I’m not raping you.” He carefully rest a hand over her’s. “You can try stabbing me again, but I’d rather you didn’t. The last one hurt.”  
Penny’s eyebrows furrowed angrily. She suddenly lifted up his shirt, looking at the scar where the blade had gone through. She touched it, making Wade’s stomach jump. “Why are you not dead?” She asked again stubbornly. A large cluttering sound came from inside and Penny turned to the noise, pointing her knife at a little old woman.  
“Hey, don’t go killing my granny, alright?” Wade took the knife right out of Penny’s hands. “I’ll tell you what you want to know, but please take a bath first. You smell and I’d rather not have blue all over my furniture.”

Penny followed the old woman’s beckoning. A steaming tub had already been made. It was big enough for Wade, and small enough that it felt like a pool to her. She made sure Wade wasn’t peaking anywhere and slowly started to undress. She felt disgusted, sticky and crusty from the paint and blood she had refused to use her drinking water to clean. She slipped into the hot bath. She closed her eyes, pulling her knees to her chest and sitting there for a moment. The water slowly started to turn a light blue. 

She let out a started sound as a jar of hot water was poured over her head and the old woman started to scrub her skin and hair. She protested loudly, shouting at her to stop and that she was not a child. But the old woman either couldn’t hear or she didn’t speak either language Penny knew. It was only until she wretched the rag out of her hand and pointed the old woman to get out, did she comply. Penny slowly started to scrub her skin. The last time she had been bathed she was 8 and put up such a fuss her mother gave up and let her bathe herself from then on. Though she was accustomed to a cold river than this elegant hot water. Perhaps Wade was rich, he just didn’t show it in the usual ways. 

Penny felt an onslaught of homesickness and depression hit her. She slowed her cleaning and carefully washed away her paint. She ran her hands through her short boy cut brown hair. Missing the old length she used to have. Hot tears spilled from her eyes and wished desperately her mother could be here to wash her hair like when she was a little girl. She quietly started singing to herself to calm down, her voice a warbled tone.

Wade paused at the door, looking at the old woman who he had decided to adopt and call Grandmother. He leaned down and kissed her cheek, causing the old woman to blush and chuckle, patting his arm. He listened to Penny sing for a moment before pulling himself away from the door. It would be rude to be caught listening at the door. 

Once Penny finished cleaning up, she grabbed the sheep skin that was left for her. Having no idea where to get new clothes or where the old woman left, she folded it around her tiny body and carefully crept in the house to find the woman. Instead she bumped right into Wade. The tall man raised an eyebrow, smirking a bit as he saw she was covered but still very much naked. Penny’s face went up in flames. “A dress. Clothes. Anything.”  
“I think that suits you just fine.” 

Penny was about to smack him upside the face until the old woman caught her attention, holding up a dress. She hurried off to get away from this strange man and get dressed. She dressed, though the size was way off. She had to cut the trim of the dress, and the chest was far too loose. Granny found a belt for Penny and helped wrap it around her waist. She spoke to the young woman even though Penny had no idea what she was talking about. The old woman smiled and patted her face and left her alone. 

She took this time and ventured around the house without going back into the room where the tub laid. She had no interest in seeing her captor naked. No thank you. She rolled up the sleeves, hiking up the skirt and headed up the stairs. A large bed of some soft animals furs were there. She scoffed. She wasn’t going to spend any time up here. She ventured into the kitchen, noticing hot plates for cooking and a fire pit along with several jugs of rainwater and wine. At least she won’t starve here. “No no. Get it together Penny!” She scolded herself, smacking her own cheeks for a moment.

“You’ll steal what you can, leave and never look back. Perhaps steal a boat and return home…” She sadden at that. There was no home to return to. No little cousins, or friends, or family or her own grandmother to go home to. There was no past to return to. Penny sat on a bench, pulling her knees to her chest, feeling the wood underneath her bare feet. She rubbed her sore arm gingerly. Perhaps she’ll wait it out here. Wait until winter is gone and then leave this all behind her. 

“Are you hungry little lamb?” Wade’s voice broke through her thoughts. She picked up her head, wiping her eyes quickly. She wasn’t about to show her weakness to him.  
“Is she really your grandmother?” Penny’s brown eyes looked over Wade’s body. He was covered in scars. All over from what she could see. He wasn’t.. he looked as if he expected Penny to shrink in fear of his face. “No. She’s not. She’s like you. She was about to be killed by my men when I first went out on my raid. I saved her and even though no one understands her but me, I adopted her as my grandmother. She’s content to be here and happy enough to call me her Grandson.” Wade grabbed a bowl, filling it with soup and ripped a piece of bread and slid it over to Penny.

She looked at it warily, before eagerly ripping the piece and dunking it into the soup. Her stomach hurt from not eating and she was more than happy to fill it with something warm instead of the hard carrots and apples she’s been living on in that dark room. “I’ve seen worse.” She said to Wade as she swallowed. He raised a bald eyebrow curiously, getting himself some soup and bread and sat across from her at the table.

“Worse warriors than my men? I think they were alright. You know, considering-”  
''No. You’re face. I’ve seen worse.” Penny interrupted him.  
“Let me guess, on a horse’s ass?” Wade chuckled, biting into his bread. Granny got herself some food and sat down to eat with them.  
“No. We used to go to the lepers up in the hills. Give them herbs and food. A little company. I’ve seen worse.”  
“Oh! Did you shake a man’s hand so hard that it just fell off right from the elbow?” Wade asked excitedly.  
“What? No!” Penny cried in slight disgust. “Besides, you don’t shake their hands hard!”  
Wade chuckled, scratching his chin. “Well I’m glad the one step up from my ugliness is lepers. At least I’m beautiful compared to some people. That dress is rather big on you. I’ll go get you an order. Though I wouldn’t leave the house. You’re childish curses may have really scared some people. And you did spit on one of the women’s faces. So good luck trying to make friends here.” He hummed, smiling slightly at her. 

“I don’t wish to make friends here. I don’t wish to stay here.” Penny said heatedly, pushing away her half eaten soup.  
“Well then leave, but don’t starve yourself. Finish your soup. Granny worked hard to make it for when we returned.” Wade didn’t even look up from his bowl, eating it and thinking about the chores he needed to do. Granny could do only so much in the farm. All the heavy lifting and back breaking work was left to Wade. And from what he saw, there was a lot to do tomorrow. The woman fumed silently, apparently thinking up something witty or snarky to rely to Wade. But he finished his bowl. “Granny will show you where your bed is. Try not to take anything important and you can go.” Wade waved her off, leaving the table and the creek up the ladder told Penny he was going to bed. 

Granny insisted she helped clean up the kitchen and put the food away for safekeeping and from the dogs that Wade would let in the house to sleep. Penny was bewildered at this all. Vikings, at a young age she was taught, took women and took them to their beds. And the women were to grow wide with child or be sent off to be whores for the town. But Wade had explicitly told her that he was not going to take her. Then why on earth was she here? She wasn’t to be sold and when other men tried to have their way with her, Wade had stopped it. Just what was he wanting from her then? Penny frowned, drying off her hands and Granny took her to the extra bed next to hers and gently urged the girl to lay down to sleep. Penny huffed but did as she was told and laid her head down which swam with countless thoughts of why she was here. 

Wade woke up to the smell of smoke and the sky being a pitch black. For a minute he thought his hut was on fire and cursed Penny for burning down his house. But when he stormed down the steps he found that his home was cold and not on fire. He followed the smoke and opened up the back door. Out of his property, Penny stood in the middle of a field. She was burning something. He looked at his tapestries, finding none to be missing. But his curiosity was founded and he stepped outside to see just what this strange woman was doing. 

Penny had found a hollowed log for her tradition. She had filled the wood with bread and spices and a sack of wine, along with a shawl Granny had so selflessly given her. She had burned the log and everything in it. She watched it burn and the smoke rose up into the sky, where thankfully she saw the stars. She sang quietly once more, the funeral song to send her off to live with her gods. She didn’t stop, even when Wade approached. Though she wanted to tell him to go away and tell him off for being rude and ruining her ceremony. But he didn’t know.

She finished her song and listened to the crack of the log for a moment. “You’re family is proud of you.” Wade assured her, resting a hand on her shoulder. Penny smacked his hand off. “And whose fault is it that they’re dead?” She spat bitterly at him. “Their village plundered and burned to the ground. My tribe scattered and I, I alone survive my own blood?” She suddenly turned to Wade, shoving him against his chest. “Why couldn’t you just let your men have their way with me and kill me like they intended? Why did you bring me here? Why are you kind to me?”

Wade was startled as she started to break down and cry. She smacked his chest with a few fists and he let her. Only when she started to shake and sob uncontrollably did he carefully pull her close and wrap his arms around her. _She’s so little_. He thought. Her head barely came to his neck and she was skin and bones. A tiny woman. It was remarkable that she had so much spirit and strength in her.

Wade carefully picked her up, taking her back to the house and left the log burning in the field. She continued to sob as he took her to his bed and placed her on the fine furs. He tried to leave her but she gripped his arm hard, refusing to let him go. He told himself that it was her way of trying to cling to something familiar in this strange world. And she told herself the same thing. 


	4. Working the Farm

Penny woke up covered in furs and alone. The sun shone brightly through the door cracks and the single window up on the second flood. She smoothed down her hair, pushing back the various animal furs and slowly made her way down the stairs, her fingers brushing against the ceiling at first before trailing against the walls. “Good morning Little Lamb.” Wade smiled as she came down. 

“What hour of the day is it?” Penny asked, shaking out the wrinkles from her oversized dress. “It’s after noon. You slept longer than I did, and that’s no easy task.” Wade wiggled his eyebrows. “I ordered a dress to be made in your size, until then. I found some boy’s clothes that might be more comfortable for you.” Wade motioned to the small stack with shoes on top of them. “Thank you.” Penny murmured, taking her new clothes. “Ah, and since you haven’t run off just yet. I was wondering if you could help me farm today? I know you don’t want to, but Granny’s back is hurting today and I could use the help.” Wade asked her as Granny set down some bread and cheese and a slice of dried meat for her to eat.

Penny looked at the two. She really didn’t want to work at all for this man or help him in anyway. But he bought her new clothes and Granny was rather old and cute. “I’ll help you.” She answered, eating her lunch. Wade smiled big and dopey, “Thank you! Ah man we’re gonna have so much fun turning rocks.. and more turning rocks. And even more rocks!” Penny flushed slightly, turning her gaze away from Wade’s excited face. “Yeah.. sounds like it’ll.. rock.” Wade snorted a laugh from her pun and Penny couldn’t help the soft smile from it. 

Penny dressed in a shirt and pants. They fit like a glove and were far more comfortable than the 5 times too large dress she had worn. She didn’t even need a belt and the shoes were half a size too big but she tightened the straps and they weren’t too much of a bother. Wade was waiting outside for her and she came out in the back. She shooed the sheep and dogs that tried to enter the garden. “You weren’t kidding.” Penny looked over at Wade. “It’s just rocks.” 

“Mmh. It’s the bad thing about this location. After the winter and beginning of spring there’s always a landslide and the rocks make their way into my garden. It’s fine but I have to usually leave for raids during the first of spring. Have to get our major income from somewhere. Being farmers and millers only gets us so far without us starting to dip in our emergency funds.” Wade started to pick up the bigger rocks as if they were nothing. Penny nodded at his explanation leaning down and picking up her weight in stones. “You’re a tough little lady, you know that?” He said looking at the small woman.  
“I could throw you farther than these stones.” Penny mused, setting them down where Wade set his down. “I don’t doubt it.” Wade said softly and with affection.

Two hours into the labor, Penny and Wade stopped to take a break. Wade leaned against the wooden fence and Penny sat on the top log. “Wade.” He suddenly said, sticking out a filthy hand to her. She looked down at it, and for a minute they both believed she was going to turn her nose away and never look at him again. But she took his hand gingerly and shook it. “Penny.” She said softly. “Penny, what kind of Celt name is that?” Wade teased, bumping his shoulder into her smaller frame. “The same kind of name as Wade is for a Viking.” Penny stuck out her tongue at him, hopping off the fence and going to pick up more stones. 

“Back in the forest,” Wade started as they had cleared nearly all of it. Penny had the last ones and he handed her a large walking stick and he grabbed one as well, making deep holes to grow his crops. “It was only you there. I’m certain. All your clansmen ran to the east, you went further west. Now tell me this, how did you take on four of my men without much weapons and move from tree to tree like that?” He knew the answer. She had been special that he was. But it was better to fake surprise when it came from her own mouth.

Penny stopped with her raking and stabbing with the walking stick, thinking for a moment and swiped her hand across her forehead. “They say I was blessed by the goddess Andate. The Goddess of War in my people. I was born with the strength to beat yours and to climb easily and to have the abilities of a spider.”  
“So you eat insects and you sometimes eat your mate and you have a big butt full of silk? I mean, your butt is small but it is very silky.” Wade teased which rewarded him with a face full of dirt and a blushing Penny.

“No. I can make webs with my hands.” Penny waved her palm at Wade’s direction. “And what about you?” She asked resuming her tilling.  
“What about me? Nothing much to tell.” Wade hummed loudly, repeating the song Penny had sung last night in melody. She flushed hotly.  
“I ran your sword through your belly. And you’re here. I want to know why my hand didn’t kill you when it should’ve?” 

“People joke that I am Death himself. That I can never die and only take lives.” Wade mused, moving on to make a new row for his crops. “Some people say I am the secret son of Eir, the Goddess of Healing and Tyr, the God of War. And that it was Tyr’s gift since he could never grow his hand after it was eaten by Fenrir that he had a child with Eir so that his son will always be healed no matter what happens to him.” He didn’t look up as Penny stopped her working and stared at the man beside her.

“Is that why you are bald?” She asked him suddenly.  
Wade stopped and stared at her, “I do not know what you are asking.”  
“Because you are always healing, is that why you are hairless? Your body is too busy working to allow you a proper head of hair. Or a man’s beard?” Penny grinned wildly.  
“Why you little-!!” He dropped his stick and Penny dropped hers as well. He chased her for a bit, the dogs barking excitedly by the gate as he grabbed her by her waist and lifted her up easily. “A man’s beard! Ha! All men are jealous that I can walk freely without a lick of hair on my head and still attract the finest females of all the lands. I may not have hair on my head, but it leaves very little for my enemies to grab and women seem to love the smoothness as we make love.” Wade boasted loudly, holding up Penny with one hand. 

Penny laughed even though she was blushing profusely. “I admit, long hair is troublesome when fighting. My cousin would pull when he was frustrated he was being beaten by a girl.” Wade set Penny down, chuckling as he tugged her short locks. “Long or short, your hair suits you. A pretty maiden is what you are. Or perhaps you really are Loki himself and here to get with child of the famous son of Eir and Tyr!” Wade faked cried. 

Penny shook her head. “I do not know who this, ‘Loki’ is. But if I were him, I wouldn’t waste a day to try to get with child. Far too troublesome to have some man fall in love with you and fawn over you when you just want a child.” She reached to take her stick back but Wade drew it back for a moment, a playful look on his face. “Would you not want me to fawn over you? Be on my knees and worship your tiny feet or your small bosom?” He poked her just above her left breast. 

She burned darker, snatching her stick back and smacking Wade’s thigh with her stick. “They are not small!” She tried to explain it, grumbling loudly in her native tongue as she jabbed into the soil harder.  
“How old are you? 16 surely is the latest you are.” Penny flared up in embarrassment and anger. She moved suddenly, her stick colliding with the back of Wade’s feet and knocking him from his standing position so he laid flat on the ground. “I am 20 and if you compare me to that of a child’s I will remove what makes you a man.” She snarled at him and dropped the stick on his belly before jumping the fence and slamming the door behind her. 

Wade stared up at the sky for a moment, “Odin damn, she’s a babe.”


	5. A New Dress, A New Friend

The days passed into weeks. And the more Penny got to know Wade, the less she found she wanted to leave. There was no where for her to go. She didn’t know the land and what else laid before her. And it wasn’t like Wade was ruthless with her. Sometimes his teasing could become too much and she’d storm off. But he managed to apologise when she came back. But she still wondered why she was here. 

The town was still afraid of her. To her surprise the woman that she spat in her face was the main seamstress. She came to Wade’s home to take her measurements and immediately had a look of regret of taking the job. It had been awkward but Wade assured both women that Penny would not spit in her face again as long as Geirny wouldn’t poke her too bad. He left the two women to hash it out and took Granny out for a walk. 

Penny stood awkwardly, waiting as the woman took her measurements. She could only take the silence for so long. “I’m sorry.” She blurted out to Geirny. The woman was tall and had long blonde hair. She blinked a few times and gave a slight smile. “I know. That was the day you were officially away from your family.” Geirny hummed, kneeling down and taking her leg length. “I am not originally from here either.” She confessed to Penny, looking at the fabric she brought upon Wade’s request. 

“You were taken also?” Penny asked suddenly feeling horrible that she spat on her face.  
“I shouldn’t have called you a demon either. No. I wasn’t taken. I.. my village had been raided like yours. Only I am only a few days travel to the North. You are weeks away. My family gave me up to the clan in hopes that their lives would be spared. I am glad they were not. I’d be thought as a traitor and a possible spy if they had survived.” Geirny stood up, showing the fabrics to Penny. “I think this color will most suit you. And if you decide to grow out your hair it will look nice.” 

“What happened? Why did you decide to stay?” Penny nodded, not paying attention to the fabrics. It was nice to talk to a woman, and not be stuck sharing conversations with Wade. A new face and a possible new friend brought her spirits up that she didn’t even know were down. 

Geirny raised an eyebrow, a knowing smile on her face. “I fell in love and married a fine warrior. I have two sons and one baby daughter.” She unraveled the right fabric, wrapping it around Penny’s waist to make sure she had everything right. “And why did you decide to stay?” The taller woman hummed once more.  
Penny blushed a light pink. “I don’t know..”   
“Ah, well. Since you don’t know and you don’t do much besides sit around and work in the crops. Come to my home every day. You could learn a useful skill in this Town. I’m sick of having everyone come to me to get something hemmed or made. And you can help make your dress.” Geirny offered her, ruffling her slowly growing longer hair.  
“I think I would like that.” 


	6. The Women's Circle

Penny came to Geirny’s household. Her two sons were outside playing with their wooden swords and practicing their skills. They weren’t older than 10 and 8. Old enough boys to know the world but still innocent enough to play childish games. She felt a yearning for her small cousin who used to wrestle with her. She hoped he ran away with his mother and didn’t end up on the battlefield. 

The tall woman was waiting for her and smiled at Penny. There was more than just the two of them. A full circle of women were together sewing together. “I thought you said you were alone?” Penny raised an eyebrow.   
“Did I lie? Well do you really expect all women to be lazy as you and not do a thing?” Geirny adjusted her two year old daughter on her lap who was happily playing with a little wooden horse. 

Penny came to sat in a chair in the circle, given fabric for her dress. “You start on the skirt, it’s the easiest part.” Geirny said as she placed her daughter on the floor and let her roam about. Penny obediently took up the needle and thread and started to work. Unsure of the women and the women were unsure of her, they sat in silence. Until a few minutes passed and they started back up their chatter.

She had almost zoned out until a certain topic lifted her head and made her snap out of concentration.   
“But sometimes he is too rough, Olina. And I try to tell him but he tells me it’s the heat of the moment.” A girl who looked younger than Penny complained to her sewing circle.   
“Well then Astri, the next time he tries to be too rough. You threaten to bite it off and feed it to the dogs.” The girls cackled and Penny blushed furiously. She had certainly been given the sex talk from her mother. And she knew what to expect. But still, to openly talk about it. Even with a young child in the room, was almost mortifying for her. 

“What about you Penny? Have you and Wade copulated?” A woman asked with playful eyes. Penny turned a dark shade. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”   
“Oh! Are you too shy to talk about it or has it not happened yet?”   
“Yet! Who said there would be a yet? Perhaps I never want to be on my back for that man. Let alone any man!” Penny cried out in her embarrassment. Her blush traveling down her neck and into her boy’s tunic. She felt very out of place. Wearing pants and here the women were all wearing elegant dresses. 

“I am a warrior! A skillful one at that and I do not need to know what a man feels like above me or inside me! I have more things to worry about than intercourse!” Penny pulled the cloth to her face, sewing at it frantically and hissing when she pricked her finger. The women laughed, but it wasn’t meant to be malice but a kind, soothing one.

“Do you think that all you are is a warrior?” Geirny asked. “And how many wars have you seen young one?”   
“Well.. just the one.”   
“And would you like to know how many wars we have all been in?” She said with a patience that consisted of a mother.   
The women went around, most said three while others were more decorated with five or six. “And five for me little one.” Geirdy hummed. “This town is wealthy and with Wade’s help it’s one of the best exports and full of warriors. We can’t afford when our men go off in their boats, you think that other villages will leave us be? No. All of us can fight and have fought. And we still enjoy our men in the same way they enjoy us. So don’t try and pretend you are better than us because you are a warrior and you believe warriors shouldn’t worry about their human nature. Besides, could you imagine us abstaining from our lovers just because we are worried about crops or our children?”   
The women giggled again and Penny blushed down to her arms.   
“Forgive me. I didn’t mean to sound prude.” 

Penny returned home, feeling humble and calm about this town. Perhaps it wasn’t the cozy, rolling hills she was used to. But it was starting to become a kinder land. Even if the lands were tough and people were tougher… she couldn’t help but feel charmed about it all. One of Wade’s dogs came bounding with her. She patted his head as they strolled in the town. The people were slowly warming up to her as well. She wasn’t actively called out to talk to but she would receive a few head nods in her direction or laughing children who stopped in their play to wave to her. 

Her fingertips brushed against the dog’s head as they came round to Wade’s home up on the hill. The sound of chopping wood came from the back. And as Penny peaked she immediately regretted it. Wade had worked up a sweat, cutting firewood for the next month or so and deciding to go shirtless. The scars and blemishes covered his torso and the wound where she stabbed him just a month and a half ago stood out as it was still pink and healing. Wade looked up for a moment, catching Penny’s half hidden face behind the house. He gave a slight wave which she tensed up and looked startled and hurried away. Wade chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would say this enters the cringe moments of 2014 for me!


	7. A Moon Cycle

The month wore on. And Penny found herself grow more and more heated at the mention at the sewing circle of Wade. The more they brought it to her attention, the more she realized how right they were. She’s heard enough horror stories from her own women of the tribe that at first it is anything but pleasant. And she’s not willing to put up with several times of discomfort just to get to the good part. No matter how much they swear or what last night brought for other women.  
She’s 20 for the gods’ sake! She knows some pleasure but she hasn’t felt the pleasure they describe with another person. She’s knows the pleasure that comes from her own hand and her own only. But the more they talk.. the more she starts to ache and want her house companion in more than just a friendship’s way. 

She lays on her back on her bed. Granny is in a deep slumber on the other side of the curtain and the moon is shining so bright. The moon has always been a source of problem for Penny. It keeps her up if it’s bright and full enough. Her mother had the same problem. It’s been told that she was conceived under a moon. Though the ache in her groin tells her that she feels a bit more than just fertility.   
She’s miserable for most of the night and doesn’t want to touch herself in a house that she still doesn’t call her own. She doesn’t fall asleep until the sun started to rise. 

Wade came down the stairs, refreshed and awake. He rubbed his eyes and decides instead of the womenfolk taking care of breakfast this morning, he’ll do it himself. He cuts up slices of bread and pours fresh rainwater they collected two days ago and the cheese that’s finally good enough to eat. Granny comes out of her room, smiling at Wade and patting his side and sat to eat. 

It’s thirty minutes past Penny’s usual wake up time, and Wade worries she might be sick. He gets up from the table and pushes the fabric away to check up on her. “Penny, are you- Penny!?” He suddenly sounds alarmed and shakes her delicate shoulder and rips the wolf’s skin away. Penny is startled awake, looking up at Wade’s expression and realizing he’s taken off her blanket without her permission. “What are you doing?!” She cries out in embarrassment, taking the fur back and hiding her legs from him. She’s only in her nightgown and it’s odd to have him so close.

“There’s blood in your blankets! You’ve must’ve hurt yourself or cut yourself badly. Let me look at the wound.” Wade tried to take the wolf’s fur back. But Penny held firm with her strength. “Blood? What are you-” It hits her like a ton of bricks and she burns a fiery red. “Wade.. I’m fine.” She reassured him.  
“You’re bleeding!”   
“I know I’m bleeding!” She shouted, grabbing his wrist to keep him from freaking out. “I’m.. damn it Wade! I’m having womanly bleeding!” 

Wade’s face fell into something of embarrassment and shyness. “Oh.. oh I’m sorry for waking you up.” He rubbed his neck, taking his wrist from her. “Do you need anything for the pain? Hot stones? Honey? Uh.. shall I fetch you bathwater?” Penny stared at him wide eyed. This was surely unheard of. A man offering to help a woman through her pains. She kept the wolf’s skin to her chest. “Uh… bathwater will be fine. I know what to do. You don’t have to worry about it.” She assured him. Wade nodded and got up, hurrying to get her the things she needed and might need. 

Penny groaned, hiding her face in her pillow for a moment. What a fine way to wake up in the morning.  
She changed into the five sizes too big dress. And with Granny’s help got the supplies she needed. She let Wade start a bath for her and ate her breakfast. But she took the ruined furs and took them to a secluded part of the river, scrubbing them free and praying they wouldn’t stain. It was early enough on that she believed it would be fine. But still, she’ll have to watch more closely when her time comes to make sure she doesn't ruin any nice pelts. 

Wade was very attentive through her week of misery. When she could hardly get out of bed he brought her food and drink, helping her get out of bed if she needed. And when she was feeling well enough, he would accompany her on walks to help with the pain. 

Though on her last bleed day she escaped early in the morning without Wade’s watchful eye. The pain had been too much and the heaviness was getting to her. She stripped of her clothes when she was far enough away from the town and found an ice cold lake. She waded into it, the ice cold acting as a numbingness and helping to ease her pain. 

Penny waded out deep enough for it to reach her waist. She ran her hand through her hair, it was growing. A few more weeks and it will grow passed her ears. She looks forward to having long hair once again. Perhaps down to her back like the women of this province do. Perhaps Wade will like her more with long hair. She squats in the water, dunking herself to her neck in chattering teeth cold water. “Stop, stop, stop stop!” She whispered heated to herself. “Don’t think like that. Don’t do this to yourself!” 

Wade went to check on Penny again when she didn’t answer his calls. A sudden sickness filled his belly. She was gone? Why did she leave without telling him? Perhaps she already went on a walk. Feeling a nervousness wash over him, he headed out in the town. When no sign of her was found anywhere, he felt even worse. Did she finally leave him like she said she would? She had seemed happy. Was she uncomfortable with his doting? Was she sick of his ugly face? Had she grown tired of sleeping on the floor while he and Granny had better beds? He really should’ve gotten something more. But the hunting season hadn’t come and he had hoped to surprise her with a nice deer pelt that had been washed to be soft. Or perhaps a large bear pelt so she could cover herself and become a little bear herself? 

Wade chewed his bottom lip till he tasted blood. One of his hounds came trotting by and licked his hand happily. He rubbed the dog’s face mindlessly until the dog started to walk off. Though she didn’t go to the house. She went farther and to a different path. Wade knew it was a leap at best, but he couldn’t help himself and followed the dog. 

Penny turned her head at some rustling in the woods. Oh no. She should’ve brought a weapon. Was it another man or was it some animal coming for a drink of water. She stood where she was in the middle of the water. If anything she had an advantage to run to the other side and away. But then she would forgo her clothes. She stood to her full height, hoping to catch a glimpse of whoever it was first and decide whether she was safe or had to run. 

The dog came out first. “Oh, it’s you.” Penny sighed, relaxing some. “I thought it was someone else.” She murmured, smiling at the dog.   
“Penny? Are you here?” Wade come out from the bushes. He was slammed with the sight of a half submerged woman and the top half of her completely naked. He blinked for a moment, staring at her face before his gaze dropped lower.

“Wade!? Get out of here!” Penny cried, covering her chest with both hands and dropping down into the water and until her shoulders were covered in ice water. Wade coughed into his hand, “You’re going to catch a cold.” He looked very much amused. She didn’t like the smugness of his face. “Well if you leave then I can get dressed!” She hissed back. 

“Oh no. I can’t leave tiny you all alone naked in the water naked your nakedness.” Wade bowed to her. She glared at him even more from the water. “Turn your back.” She stuck a hand out and motioned with him to turn. “Alright.” Wade stuck out his hands and turned his back from her. He smiled as he listened to the water ripple and her getting closer and closer. His grin grew larger as she swore in her native tongue and stepped out. He could hear her teeth chattering from here.

Penny dried herself as well as she could before slipping into her dress. Well at least her uterus was frozen solid. She wouldn’t feel pain for an hour or two. “Can I turn around now?” Wade interrupted her thoughts. “No.” She said stubbornly, pulling on her boots. She stood behind him, hands on her hips. “Why did you come here?” She demanded, pushing his back.

“You were gone, I thought you had left. Uh.. really left.” It was now his turn to blush somewhat.   
“You thought I left the town?” Penny’s voice sounded surprised and soft, her hand lingering on his back and Wade swore he could feel it burn through him. “Yes, that’s what I said. But the dog showed me the way here.” Wade pointed down at the girl who sat panting next to them, looking pleased with herself. 

“If I was going to leave.. I would’ve left by now.” She said quietly, looking at the expanse of his muscular back. Taking in the way his spine curved and his shoulders were straight and firm with pride and strength. “And I wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye.. at least not now.” 

“Penny-” Wade started to turn but she shoved his back to face forward. “I didn’t give you permission to look back!” She blushed furiously. “Penny I just want to-” “NO.” “Penny please let me-” “No! Ask me again and see what happens!” Wade paused for a moment. “Penny let me turn around.” Something sticky and slightly warm hit his hand, sticking him to a nearby tree. A.. A web? He tugged on it experimentally. “Woah..” He turned to look at Penny but she was already walking down the road. 

“Penny?” He called out to her. She didn’t look back at him. “P-Penny?” Wade tried again and tugged on his arm. It wasn’t budging. “Penny please come back?!” He shouted for her but she kept on moving. “PENNY!” His voice rang out. But she stood steadfast like he had when she was in the storage of the boat. She folded her arms and looked down at the dog who looked up at her as if to judge her actions. “If he’s so desperate to get out he’ll just take the entire tree with him!” She huffed and picked up her speed. 

Wade did return. Not with a tree, but with a large section of the bark had been stripped and taken with him. He fumed at Penny for a moment as he couldn’t get in the house as the bark wouldn’t fit through the door. “Penny get this thing off of me!” He shouted at her who cackled and nearly fell out of her chair laughing so much. She helped remove his hand. 

He wrapped his now free arm around her waist and pulled her flush against his body. She grew uncomfortable in this new and sudden closeness they were sharing. “You left me trapped on that tree. My hand nearly fell off like that leper you shook so hard his arm popped off.” He growled playfully and got close to her. “And I’d like to give you something in return.” Penny felt her heart hammering in her chest and her mouth grew dry. Was.. was he going to kiss her? He leant in closer and her eyes shut tightly. Oh god! He was going to kiss her!

Something wet and nice smelling hit her in the face and Wade retracted from her. She opened up her eyes, finding a bunch of randomly picked flowers in her face. She gingerly took them from his hand, looking down at them and looking up at Wade. “These are for me?” Penny asked with bewilderment. “No, they’re for Granny. Make sure you give them water.” Wade hummed and went inside with Penny looking flabbergasted at the front door. 


	8. A Dark Horizon

The weeks grew warmer and the crops became green and large. In a few days time they would be ready for picking. Penny’s hair reached down to her jawline, which was something the dogs liked to lick while she slept nowadays. She was out in the back tiling the soil as Wade was watering the crops.

Ever since the day at the lake, there was something unspoken between them. Penny found herself sitting closer to Wade at the table and Wade nearly brought her flowers every day. On the nights that Granny went to bed earlier, they found an eerie silence filled their once loud and warm conversations they had. And each time before they parted for bed, they lingered as if waiting for the other person to do something. But every night nothing happens. 

Wade had just about enough of it. Everyone in the town saw it, Penny saw it. Hell, the dogs knew it too. He threw down his bucket of water in frustration which made her jump. “Penny.” Wade suddenly declared rather loudly and took large strides to her. “W-Wade?” She asked startled, and grew even more anxious when he clasped both of her arms tight in his hands. He squeezed them affectionately. “Penny. I-” 

“BOATS. BLACK SAILS. IT’S NOT OURS. INVADERS ARE COMING.” Someone shouted up to Wade. The bell in their main hall rang the bell they managed to steal from a small church. It was the smallest bell they could manage to fit on their boat, but it came in handy in times like these. The able drew together anxiously while the old women and men who could no longer fight alongside the young mothers started to make their way hurried up the hill. 

Wade’s face looked as if to regret something for a moment before growing hard. “Who would invade now? The crops aren’t even ready for taking and the season isn’t right.” He murmured. Penny removed herself from Wade, looking over the fence. “This is why you have a house away from the village and on a hill, don’t you? To see ships from far away and get everyone in town that needs to get out, out.” Penny thought out loud. 

Geirny came up the hills with her sons and her daughter crying in her chest. “Hello Penny. I finished your dress today.” She smiled softly at her friend, hands tugging her sons’ hand that wanted to go down and fight. “You should go with them.” Wade clasped a hand on her shoulder. “What? No! There are plenty of women who are going to fight! Why can’t I?” Penny whirled on him. jabbing a finger in his chest.

“Because dammit!” Wade shouted back at her, keeping her still. “You don’t know what these men are like. I don’t even know what these men are going to fight like. I can’t risk having you down there with me and I have to keep an eye on you!” 

Her jaw set hard. “You told me yourself I’m stronger than you and your second best warrior.” She shoved him back, making him stumble a bit. “I am not going to stand on a hill and watch your people get slaughtered if I can help it!” Penny shouted, getting in his face. 

“You can’t heal!” Wade finally spoke his mind. The both of them shut up quickly, looking at each other. “You can’t heal Penny. I can have a sword run through my stomach by the bravest woman I know. But you. Can’t. Heal. And I can’t... I’ll never recover if something would happen to you.” He gently stroked her cheek. “Penny, I don’t want to lose you.”

Hot tears filled her brown eyes as she stared into Wade’s cool blue ones. She smacked him hard across the face before entering the house. Wade stood for a moment. He’ll go in and put her over his shoulder and take her up the mountain if he has to himself. He was about to go storm in when the door was pushed open and slammed shut again. Penny’s cheeks streaming with angry and bitter tears as she had Grandmother’s hand and helping her up the hill. “That’s my baby girl.” Wade said affectionately to her. 

“Fuck off.” Penny spat at him in her tongue. And Wade knew that was the closest to an ‘I love you’ he was going to get today. 


	9. Love of Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has the explicit sex scene! 
> 
> It also contained Wade being beheaded!

Wade covered himself in his war paint, black on his left side and red on his right. His naturally scarred form was enough to send some unexpected children running, but it wasn’t enough to make men pause in battle fields. Painting himself all over was enough to pause men. It was easy to make believe he was a demon in this way and when the other men try to stab him to only pull the weapon away and keep walking. It was an effective weapon.

The remaining warriors stood their ground. Fires to create a smoke screen had started and barricades for some of the houses had been built. They weren’t able to get everything right in time as the oars were called to be pulled out. Both sides started to smack their shields with their swords and axes. Bowmen and women were ready to set loose. It was a quiet stand off until the leader on the boat yelled, “JUMP SHIP.”

Arrows were loosen and struck men jumping into the waters. But in the time to reload, more men jumped and made it to the beach. The siege began and the blood began to flow. The clash of swords and axes on shields and body parts filled the air along with battle cries to try to startle enemies in combat. 

Wade easily struck down the men that were foolish enough to run right at him. Though his eye never strayed from the leader who was making his way up the dock. It was his goal to take him on and hopefully end this battle before it can progress anymore. The two men spotted each other and started to mow down challengers to get to one another. 

The battle continued on, both sides losing men and women left and right. The sand started to dye red as they all struggled to win for each side. Eventually Wade came face to face with the leader. They circled each other, baring teeth and shouting at one each other. Trying to taunt the other into striking first. No one dared to try to help, they all had to worry about themselves and see that they returned home in one piece. 

“Hear you’ve got yourself a little celt.” The man grinned, smacking his shield with his sword for a moment. “Though you can’t really call it yours. Heard you haven’t even laid with it. Though I’m not so sure how happy the gods will be to know you procreated with a filthy demon.” The taunts worked and Wade lunged first, swords clanging together. Blinded by his rage for the filth that filled his ears towards Penny, he made to strike hard and fiercely without giving a second thought. 

“Though when I get to that little hellion. I’ll make sure to let it know what it’s like to be with a real man.” He chuckled, jumping back as Wade’s sword collided with his shield. Wade growled and charged. But left an opening he hadn’t expected. He felt the hot metal slice through his throat. Fuck he hated it when it went through his throat. Always the worst. And his head went tumbling off his body and rolled in the sand. 

The fighting stopped for a moment as the viking reached down and grabbed Wade’s head by the back of his skull and lifted it up for the battle to see. “I see your leader isn’t so great and terrifying as his reputation leads on.” He chuckled. “Maybe I’ll mantle this on my ship. Let the world know what’s happened to their precious leader.” 

He started to laugh and his men did also until he was knocked flat on his face and Wade’s head went tumbling down. Penny stepped on his back, yanking his head up by his long and braided hair. He tried to get up but she kept a firm and hard step on his back. “What was it you called me earlier?” Penny grinned darkly, tipping his head back to see her blue covered body. “My people have a tradition where I come from.” She hummed, pulling out her dagger from her thigh. “I think you’ve heard of it?” He felt him swallow. “My tribe didn’t rape innocent women and children like your men do. But we did have something called Headhunters.” She pulled the dagger tight against his throat, cutting into the skin already. 

“Only a selected few are allowed to be headhunters. And I would like to have your head swinging around my horse’s neck where his legs can kick you.” She let out a yell, slicing into his throat. She turned him around, cutting through the bone and muscle until she stood. She lifted his head up, by his braid. The opposing side stopped, having not seen this practice. She strode past through the fight where a silence had fallen. She stepped on to the nearest house and stabbed her dagger through his braid, hanging it from the door. Penny turned and stared at the men standing around and looking like they had no idea what to do. “Go.” She said calmly. 

When they did nothing her little body filled with rage and she screamed in gaelic, “GO.” They scrambled back to their boats as the town of her people started to yell and cheer in pride. Though something caught her eye. A scout trying to take Wade’s head. She borrowed the nearest bow and arrow and lined up her shot before letting it go right into his chest. He fell and so went tumbling Wade’s head. 

The boats were trying to row fast away and Penny ran back to the beach. She slid to her knees, pulling Wade’s head into her lap. She wiped the sand from his face and stared down at his closed eyes. Hot tears filled her eyes and hunched over him, rocking as she cried. The town’s people stopped for a moment, listening to her cry over their leader. A few knowing men didn’t seemed bothered and were smacked by the women who didn’t know. 

“Mhhff!!”

Penny froze, feeling something move against her chest. She sat up, wiping tears from her eyes with the back of her hands. “God, for someone with such a small chest you can really suffocate someone with those!” Wade breathed in heavily. Penny screamed and threw Wade’s head away from her. 

“HEY HEY! Careful with the goods! My face is my work!” Wade complained once he finished rolling on the beach. Penny stumbled, picking him up. “W-What?! What? WHAT?!” She yelled in his face. “Hey, It’s be totally awesome if you didn’t scream in my face and you know what they say about face fucking. Imagine it without my large body getting in the way.” He waggled his eyebrows at her. 

She gaped down at him, having no idea what to do. “Go put me on my body. And if you could not hang me from the horse’s neck, that’d be amazing.” He grinned at her. Penny looked as if she wasn’t even in this realm mentally. She kneeled over Wade’s body and carefully aligned his neck with the rest of his body. “Ah, such a babe. I’m going to marry you after this. I mean, you headhunted a guy for me. That’s pretty hot.” Wade groaned as his skin started to fold over and mend his body.

Penny jumped back, standing and unsure what was happening. Was he.. was he really a god? But don’t their gods die? She was so confused. Was he actually a demon and he’s been playing it off? All these questions filled her head, having no idea what to do. Everything in her told her to run and never look back. 

Wade groaned, sitting up, rubbing his neck. He took a moment before standing up and cracking his neck in place. “Don’t do that!” Penny said covering her ears, looking horrified. “Well next time don’t go around my back and paint yourself blue and go into battle! I would’ve been fine! I could’ve made my way to my body with my tongue!” Wade and Penny locked eyes, staring at each other with a hard expression. 

Penny leaped for Wade and he grabbed her. Their lips crashed together hurriedly, months of repressed feelings came spilling out. He didn’t care if this was inappropriate. Hey, he was going to marry this girl so it didn’t really matter what the town saw. 

He picked her up, she felt like a feather and she wrapped her legs tight around his waist. They didn’t stop kissing as Wade made his way up the hill and to his house. He stumbled against the front door, nearly collapsing on the floor as Penny licked into his mouth and sucked on his lips. “If getting beheaded is all it takes to get you to kiss me. I’m gonna do it everyday.” Wade murmured. “Don’t you dare.” Penny hissed as he made his way clumsily up the stairs His feet nearly went through the space between the steps several times.

“Heh, I’m red and you’re blue. We’re going to get paint everywhere. And I think we’re going to invent the color purple.” Wade hummed as Penny shoved at his battle wear. His hands pulled at her chest, leaning down and biting at one of her breasts. She let out a muffled keen, chest and neck turning red as she pulled at his breeches. 

Wade was gentle, kissing down her chest and between her bosom, licking at the sternum there. Penny was far too desperate, still aggressive from battle as she struggled to get Wade naked and try to work on her own clothes since Wade was taking his sweet time. He rested his hands on top of hers, calming her down for a moment. He leaned up, sweetly kissing her this time. “Your blue paint tastes horrible.” He murmured, biting at her neck. “We’re doing this again when we’re not covered in paint.” 

He worked off her clothes. He took in her soft and small body for a moment. Penny slowly sat up, gently pushing Wade to sit up as well. She tugged on his breeches once more, kissing and nipping at his neck and shoulder. She rubbed her cheek against his shoulder as Wade placed his pants next to her clothes.  
They took in their naked bodies for a moment, a shiver of arousal going through Wade and one of nervousness filled Penny. He leaned forward, taking her lips to his in a chaste kiss. He kissed her again and again until she gave a little sigh. She wrapped her arms around his neck, a hand resting against the back of his head. Wade pushed forward gently, urging her to lay on her back and he to lay comfortably on top of her.

When Penny tensed against him, Wade nipped at her ear. “I won’t hurt you. I promise.” He murmured. His hands traveled against her body, feeling her for the first time. The soft skin of the woman he loved. She was absolutely perfect and he made sure she knew from the ramblings he spoke. “Tiny thing, love of my life. Button nose, beautiful chest, little lamb, doll.. baby girl. Dove.” He whispered. Each word of endearment was followed with a kiss that went down Penny’s body. Her breathing hitched as he sunk lower and lower. 

He spread her legs, rubbing into the softness of her inner thighs. “Kitten~” He purred before he slid his mouth on her clit. She cried out, arching and squirming as the pleasure slammed into her. Wade rest a hand on her stomach, keeping her pinned as he lapped and sucked into her. She shook, eyes screwing shut and moaned loudly. Oh.. oh this is what they meant. Oh no one told her about this! 

Wade worked her until her voice went high and her nails dug into his skull painfully. He pulled away before she could climax which she let Wade know with annoyed groans and tried to put his head back between her legs. “Mmh, you’re going to be all black and red there.” He laughed as he crawled up her body. She growled and kissed him heatedly on the lips, tasting herself in his mouth. She wrapped her arms tight around his shoulders and slid open her legs to welcome Wade to come closer. 

He slotted his body up against her, causing them both to pull away and their breathing hitched. “Can I enter you?” He asked her softly, kissing at her shoulder and waiting for her answer. Penny tensed, the worries and the rumors running in her head. But she wanted Wade and she wanted this. She gave a little nod of her head. “Yes.. you can… I want you too.” Penny murmured. 

He kissed her several more times before lining himself up to her opening and slowly slid into her warm body. Penny took in a gasp, tightening up around Wade. He stopped, stroking her sides and thighs, whispering sweet nothings in her ear. When she relaxed he pushed in deeper. It went like this, a stop and go until Wade had no more length to give. Penny held on tight to Wade, trying to breathe as everything felt hot. His chest against her’s with his arms bracketing her. She never felt so anxious and safe in her life. 

She finally opened up her eyes and Wade’s expression floored her. His eyes were closed as he relaxed and seemed to be awed that he was inside of her. Like he never felt so at peace and in heaven in his life. His breathing hitched every so often and Penny bit her bottom lip to keep from moaning as well. Wade opened his eyes, smiling softly at Penny and shifted to kiss her fully on the mouth. 

It started slow as they grinded against each other, little experimental thrusts and rubs here and there. It didn’t take long until Wade found a nice spot that made her cry and arch so prettily off the pelts. And Penny found out that a right squeeze here and there sent Wade nearly into a frenzy. They hung on to each other as they moved together. They both grounded one another and helped steadily head towards completion. 

Penny’s grip tightened and her voice grew louder and higher. Wade panted into her neck, moaning and hips thrusting a bit harder. He was still gentle with her, at least he tried to be. He felt her tighten around him and he reached down between her legs, rubbing against her clit hurriedly. Penny cried out sharply, cumming around Wade’s cock inside of her. 

She spasmed around him, milking him for something Wade wasn’t so sure she wanted yet. “P-Penny.. I don’t know if I should-” She silenced with with three gentle fingers against his lips. “I-It’s alright. You’ve just got to promise you’ll actually marry me after this.” She panted. Wade’s face bloomed into the biggest smile, grabbing her neck from underneath and crushed their lips together. He came inside of her and they both cried out.


	10. Wedding Bells

Penny and Wade sat in the bathtub together. The water was pitch black from the paint being washed away. She leaned against his body as his arm wrapped around her waist gently. He kissed up and down her neck as she hummed softly and stroked his cheek. “When did you want to marry, my dear? We usually marry on Frigga’s day. I don’t know about your customs.” He nuzzled into her cheek, wrapping both arms around her and squeezing her gently. 

“Mh? Oh. You were actually serious on marriage?” Penny asked turning her head to look at Wade. “Why would I ever marry you?” Wade’s face fell, and he could feel his heart sink into his stomach. “I’m kidding.” Penny laughed, pinching both his cheeks. “Frigga’s day is fine. I only ask that a few of my customs are kept.” She hummed. “You insolent cub!” Wade roared, grabbing her tight and biting at her neck and cheek in a punishing manner. Penny laughed merrily, squirming in his hold.

They married the following friday. 

Penny had dressed in a fine celtic fashioned gown with Geirny’s help and a small crown of flowers in her hair. Wade dressed in his best clothes and had his first sword slid into his belt. They had compromised that they would wed outside but the townspeople were to join. Both bride and groom were barefoot in the grass. 

Penny picked out the sheep to be sacrificed to Wade’s gods and he picked out a ceremonial log to be burned in offering to her god. The sheep was sacrificed and the blood collected in a bowl to be burned with Wade’s offering as husband and wife.

Wade offered Penny his first sword, “My sword for you to keep until our son.” He smiled softly at her. Her ring laid on top of the hilt of the sword. Penny gingerly took both items, before sliding his ring on the hilt and offered it back to Wade. “I will keep your sword for our son, if you promise to protect him and me with it until he’s of age.” Wade took the ring and sword, “I will.” 

Their hands intertwined together over the sword and the officiate took a ribbon and tied their left hands together. She spoke in her tongue and he spoke in his, promising their unbreakable vows to one another. Wade leaned over and Penny leaned up, their lips met together and they both smiled as the people cried and cheered for the two of them.

They were taken to the great hall where a wedding feast of the sheep that was originally sacrificed was waiting, cooked and seasoned for everyone to enjoy. Honey wine was brought out and they sat at the head of the table. They listened to everyone’s wishes and the blessings they gave to the couple. Not everyone brought a gift as they weren’t sure what to give Penny. But they received some livestock and furs and weaponry for them to share. 

Wade stood, taking his wife with him by their still bound hands to find a nice tree root pillar of the building. Several of the men banged on the table and chanted for good luck to Wade. Taking up the sword with his right hand and adjusting it, he stabbed it deep in the wood. The hall cheered and then Wade started to wrench it out. The wood cracked and by the time it came out, it left a deep scar into the pillar. Wade kissed Penny one more time, “A good sign.” He hummed at her confused expression. “The deeper the wound, the more luck for the marriage and a better life for our children.” Penny looked at it. “Well then you should’ve let me have the honors! I could make a scar five times that size!” The men howled and Wade laughed heartily.

Wade and Penny shared soft kisses throughout the day and night, feeding one another and filling their wine glasses. They weren’t allowed to leave until everyone had their fill and the musicians fingers were nearly bleeding. Penny ended up in Wade’s lap at the end of the night as they laughed at the entertainment and friends. It was one of the happiest moments they shared together.

They were thoroughly drunk when they returned home, with Wade leading the two of them with a torch back home. He used the sword to stop Penny from going in first. “It is ungrateful for a man to let his woman walk in first and without help. Especially one so drunk.” Wade slurred, picking up a giggling Penny and walking in the house. He closed the door with his foot so they could properly consummate the wedding as husband and wife.

Penny pressed up against Wade’s side, their hands intertwined as he lazily dragged his free hand up and down her side. She nuzzled into his shoulder, dragging her lips against his skin. “I want one more promise.” She suddenly said. Wade turned his head giving a little sigh and quirking up an eyebrow, smiling gently. “And just what is it my wife wishes me to promise?” He tipped her head and kissed her sweetly. “On your raids, you take me with you.” Penny murmured against his lips. 

“And why would I do that? The house needs tending to and Granny is getting older.” Wade looked at Penny’s face.  
“I am much more use to you by your side than I am here at home. You lost your head! You literally lose your head because I am not there! And who will have the sense to pick up your blabbering mouth and stick you back to your body?” She smacked his chest. Wade chuckled, rubbing his skin. “Alright. Alright.”   
“You promise?”  
“I promise.” 


	11. A Loving Life

~ 6 Years Later~

The boats were back to shore, and Wade in his black and red paint stepped out onto the docks. “Good to be home isn’t it?” He laughed with his men who lugged the treasure up and into the town’s hall. He helped them set the gold into the treasury. “WADE!” A voice yelled out. 

He stepped outside. “Ah! Look brothers! Here comes my Little Lamb of a wife now!” He smiled at Penny who came storming up to him. Her hair was wavy long that reached down to her back. She wore her farmer’s outfit: working boots and one of Wade’s tunics with pants. “Ah, did you not want to get in a dress for me?” Wade asked, genuinely happy to see her. 

Her fist collided with his jaw, sending him falling back on his ass. “You jackass! You dick! You fucker!” Penny shouted at him. Wade looked bewildered up at his wife. The men oohed at their leader being kicked by his 7 month pregnant wife. “You promised me! You promised me that you wouldn’t leave me when you went on raids! What if you head fell off? What if someone lost your fucking head?” 

“But I didn’t lose my head!” Wade said looking up at Penny as she stopped her kickings. “I lost my arm!” The men laughed as Penny picked up a large barrel to throw at her husband. “Lamb No! Think of the baby!” He screeched. 

Penny huffed and puffed, storming up the hill back home. Hot bitter, hormonal tears filled her eyes. “Mama! Is Daddy back?” Her son cried out for her, his cute little 6 year old grin. So happy to see her and his blond hair. She picked him up, huffing some more. “Deegan, when Daddy comes in. Kick him in the shins ok? Just for Mama, please?” Penny growled, kissing his cheek. Deegan giggles, “Ok!”

“Mmh!” Their two year old daughter reached out for Penny as well, standing on top of the table. Penny slammed the door behind her, hearing Wade’s calls for her only made her more angry. “Come here little Eydis. When you see Daddy, you jab him right in the eye. Ok?” Eydis clapped her hands together, not understanding but was happy to be held. 

“Baby girl. Please don’t be mad.” Wade sounded like a kick dog as he opened up the door. “DADDY!” Deegan squirmed in her arms and Eydis broke out into a large grin, reaching out for Wade too. She set down her daughter and hmph’d unhappily and went to work on the stove. “Penny, please don’t do this.”   
Penny stabbed her dagger into the table angrily. 

Deegan kicked Wade right in the shin as per request. Wade grunted and picked up his son, “Were you good for your mother and did you do your chores?” Wade asked, he nodded excitedly. “Good boy. Gimme a kiss.” Deegan complied. Eydis tugged on Wade’s breeches. He picked her up, tossing her up in the air for a moment and catching her as she giggled. “Mmh, you’re my little fenrir aren’t you?” He hummed as she kissed him as well. 

“Is my bath ready?” He asked Deegan who nodded eagerly.   
“Eydis, you’re supposed to jab Daddy in the eye. Jab!” Penny looked over at her daughter who was fawning over her painted father.  
“Penny.” Wade said gruffy, just the way he knows she likes it.   
“No.” Penny said sternly.  
“Lamb, baby doll, dove, love of my life.” He chased her as she ran away from him, the children giggling as they ran after their parents. 

Wade trapped her in the bathroom, she stood on one side of the tub and Wade on the other. “Where are you going to run now my little celt?” He purred.   
“Don’t use that voice on me. I’ll run your sword through your belly again.” Penny hissed.   
“Curse my soup to be cold and my sheets to be wrinkled?” Wade advanced, reaching out and snatching the end of his tunic on her body and pulled her flush against his chest. His hands ran over her swell and down her thigh. 

“Oh I’ll make your soup cold! I’ll make it cold until the day you die!” Penny struggled in his grasp. “Mmh~ Cold soup. I’ll take it any day as long as it’s from you. Ah. look at this.” Wade nibbled on her neck. He grabbed her ass and his hand slipped up into her shirt. “You fill both my hands nicely.” He squeezed her chest which earned him a smack across the face and shove into the bath. 

He sputtered, gasping for air. “FUCK THAT’S COLD.” Wade shouted as Penny left the room. “That’s not the only thing that’ll be cold tonight!” She hissed and ushered the kids out of the room.


	12. Strapping Up!

Wade and Penny laid panting on their furs. The kids were sleeping over at Aunt Geirny’s house as they got up to some more adult games. “I’m still mad at you.” Penny growled, smacking Wade’s face again. He chuckled, rubbing his cheek. “Well. You’re pregnant. I’m not risking you losing our child. Even if it means I get abused from you at home.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek, hand resting on her pregnant belly. 

Penny shoved his hands away and sat up. Wade sighed. “I’ve missed you, please let’s not do this.” He groaned. But she didn’t leave the bed as sometimes she does when she’s royally pissed at him. Instead she opened up a box and fiddles with something. “What are you doing?” Wade asked, sitting up. 

What he sees makes his throat grow dry. Penny gave him a heated gaze, and a smirk on her pretty face. “I know sometimes you ache like I do.” She purred, crawled over her husband. He’s not used to the intense gaze she’s giving him. His clever wife had fashioned a large cock out of the smoothest wood he’s ever seen. He reached out and gives it an experimental stroke. It’s absolutely smooth with no blemishes. “Where did you..?”

“I made it myself. I know you get a little envious in that head of yourself. Seeing how I squirm and cry around your cock. And you’re a faithful husband, of which I’m lucky and glad. But I do want to give you everything you want. And me being selfish, I’d rather you come undone because of me.” Penny’s hands travel up to Wade’s neck before she suddenly turned him around on to his stomach.

“I could show you how your kind treats women.” Penny growled above him, sending shivers of arousal down his spine. “But you showed me kindness even if you did kidnap me.” She ran her fingernails up and down his spine, dragging them down his ass. She opened up a jar of slick she managed to get without the kids finding out. She slipped some on her finger and circled her husband’s opening before sliding it in. “... Do you finger yourself?” Penny asked, her voice dripping with arousal and hunger. 

“Ungh.. hnnn yea..” Wade moaned, cock stirring once more. “Mmmh~ I can tell.” She slipped in a second finger and worked him over, making sure to bump into his prostate. She leaned over, nipping at the back of his throat and shoulder. She fucked her fingers into him and added a third and fourth finger until Wade was whining and bucking back. 

She pulled away, slicking up her wooden phallus strapped to herself. “Relax for me.” She purred, resting her forehead on his back. She lined herself up and slowly sunk into Wade. He flinched, not used to being the one on the receiving end but by the way he shivered and moaned quiet, he was liking it just fine.

Penny swirls her hips and gently rocks into Wade like the first time he had her. Her hands slide up his sides and back, massaging his muscles and making sure he felt good all over. When Wade lifted his hips to get more in him, Penny takes this as a sign to really start in on him. She grips Wade’s hip with one hand and his shoulder with the other. She brings back her husband and slid her cock in deeper in him. His cries sends a shiver of arousal down her spine. 

She sets up a steady and slow tempo, making sure Wade is comfortable and that this is what he needs. _It’s what he needs_. His cock is leaking and Penny’s dead set on making him cum without a helping hand. Wade is a constant stream of moans and hitches. And it’s beautiful. Beautiful the way her husband arches and aches for her and only her. She started to sweat, mind fogging as she jabs her hips harder. And Wade cries out so sweetly it sends her into a frenzy. 

She fucks into him hard and deep, taking his pleasure and making him cry out even more. She’s panting, feeling hot and sweaty and absolutely wonderful. She angles her thrusts and Wade goes crazy. He squirms uncontrollably and can’t get enough of Penny. “If I wasn’t pregnant, I’d have you ride me.” Penny lickes her lips and Wade moans at the thought of that. “N-Next time…” Wade offers.  
“We only have to wait two months plus my recovery time.” Penny agrees.

Wade tells her he’s going to cum and she slams into him hard. Her belly started to hurt from the force of it, but Wade needs it more than she does. Wade practically screams as he cums, spurting into the wolf’s fur that Penny bled on years ago. Wade is panting so heavily that Penny is afraid he’ll pass out. She unstraps the cock from her and Wade practically grabs her. 

He settles his wife on his face and eats her out good and proper. Penny is a mewling mess and her hair drapes over her shoulders and down her chest. She carefully rides his face and once Wade pins her down so she can’t move, she claws at the furs in her frustration. She cums as well with a cry and Wade pulled her off of his face with a pant. His eyes turn dark and hazy again as he grabs her one last time and pushes her on her hands and knees and fucks into her in return until she screams and they both cum one last time. 

They’re tangled in each other and blankets and breathing heavily. Wade kisses her face and shoulders over and over again. His hands running through her long hair. “What a babe.. what a babe..”


	13. Artwork from 2014

Hello Everyone! Thank you for reading this crack fic from eons ago! As a more well rounded adult, there are certain elements of this story I would change or rewrite, but I sometimes think it's nice to honor old writing as it once was. This fic was the first piece of fanwriting I wrote specifically for a friend and spent days writing it for him. It was also the longest piece of fiction writing I had ever completed. I've now decided since I had several doodles and artwork I completed for this fic back in 2014, it's only fair they should live here too! I hope you enjoy some very old drawings from me!


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